…this was my mantra starting Friday morning. Actually, I’m pretty sure I said it to myself a few time throughout last week. Definitely starting Friday, though, and all through the weekend I could feel that catch in my throat and actually have to remind myself to just breathe. In, out. One at a time. In. Out.
Did I expect it to be this hard? Yes, I think I did. I know I did. That doesn’t make the goodbye any easier though. And I’m not really a fan of goodbyes. I’d rather skip them. This one, however, was unskippable.
I woke up Friday morning knowing I was in the final hours. I felt as though I could literally hear the sands of time pouring through the hourglass; feeling time wash past like a broken dam, knowing there is nothing I can do to stop it. Yet, would I want to? No. As much as I wanted to hold on to every minute, every second, we had left I also just wanted this weekend to be over with. Just let me get through the goodbye so we can get on with life and get back into the routine of things.
just breathe…. just breathe….
Saturday came and like Friday most of the day was a blur. Trying with every ounce of will I have to stay positive, to not break down in front of my kids (I failed miserably), and enjoy what little time we have left together.
just breathe…. just breathe….
And then the time finally came. We had to be there. Needed to be there. We are a family, and we will support each other as one, through good times and through the hard times.
It’s not something I looked forward to, for the sake of my children. To watch their daddy get on the bus and take him away was by no means easy for them. For any of us.
“Don’t leave me Daddy!!!”, shouted one of the girls, which of course of then echoed by her twin.
My son held on tightly to my leg and cried a cry a choking cry that absolutely shatters a mothers heart.
just breathe…. just breathe…. just breathe…. just breathe….
It’s always the beginning that’s the hardest. The goodbye is still fresh in the mind for everyone.
Bedtime is the worst in our house, especially for my son since that was when he and my hubs usually had their daddy and son time.
I sometimes fear that I will fail my children in being both mommy and daddy for them, or that I will not adequately enough conceal my stresses leaving them to feel some of the burden. I hope I don’t.
I know having my son in school and all of the upcoming holidays will help time to go by quickly.
I’m thankful for family and friends who have been, and I know will continue to be, wonderfully supportive.
I will probably, more than once, need to remind myself to just breathe.
just breathe….
Oh this was so hard for me to read. I can only imagine how difficult this is for you and am not sure how to express my gratitude for what you and your family sacrifice for the rest of us. Much love to you.
Thank you so much, that really does mean a lot.
xoxo
[...] you can relate to. I’ve got 2 for you! ’m not a fan of goodbyes. semperfimomma.com/2012/09/just-b… fb.me/1Li5HCGg9 — Laura September 17, 2012And don’t [...]
love to you and your family! i cannot imagine, we are so thankful for what your family, and so many families do – we are humbled by your whole family.
Thank you!
I’m at a loss for words other than I am grateful to your family for your sacrifice and I am positive you will be a stellar parent during his absence. Hang in there.
I love your vote of confidence!
Thank you Katie.
I wish that a virtual hug meant more, but it’s all I have to offer you. All my thoughts of strength and courage for you and your family.
honestly, your positive and encouraging thoughts and virtual hug mean a great deal to me. Thank you Ginger!
Aaaw, Laura! I feel ya! I hop the time flies by and that you have many moments of laughter and bliss to keep you busy as the days pass. Here if you need ANYTHING! Bless you and your fam!
I really appreciate that xoxo
Hugs to you. I can’t even imagine, but I truly appreciate what your husband – and you – are doing.
Thank you so much.
Yes…just breathe. Every moment, take it in, both good and bad…it makes you a stronger woman. Not everyone can live this life and you should be proud of yourself and the amazing job you are doing when he is gone. He can do his job because you can. Ugh…I went into SappyLand!
haha! a little trip to sappyland never hurts.
xoxo
Thanks!!
It seems it has gotten harder for me since having children. Watching their pain and their confusion is the worst.
Hugs to you my friend.
It is. Before kids, going through our separations was so much easier.
Oh man. Boy do I ever know that mantra. Every time I have to send my husband off, not knowing what’s going to happen next I turn into a mess. The night before is the worst; the tick tock of the time you have left, trying to enjoy it is almost impossible. This last deployment, I didn’t stay to see the busses leave. I couldn’t do it. Too much experience has taught me that I am better off saying goodbye before they start loading up. I dropped him off and said goodbye in the parking lot. Unrushed. Semi private. Then I went home and cried myself to sleep. The only good thing about sending them off is that the deployment has finally started and for me, the sooner it starts the sooner it ends and we can be back together again.
Yes! I’ve already started the Homecoming countdown.
Beautifully written. I can say I was in your exact shoes 2 months ago. I felt the time slipping by and wanted it to slow. But then again I wanted it all to be over with. The week leading up to the goodbye was the toughest. It’s all downhill from here
You got this Momma!!
Such a bittersweet moment, to want time to stop and still just want him to hurry and go so he can start his journey home.
HUGS!
So sad to read that your husband is being deployed. We often thank the soldiers for their sacrifice, but we must also remember the families. So thank you for your sacrifice! The love and patience you have as he goes out to protect and serve his country. I pray that he will return home to you and your children safe and sound and soon. Your family will be in my prayers.
That truly warms my heart. xoxo Thank you!
I am so sorry about your sadness for yourself and your children and so moved by this stunningly raw and beautiful post. Wishing you strength and courage.
Thank you! I appreciate that.
A giant hug my friend.
xoxo Thank you