a letter to my younger self

if I could send a letter back in time….

 

Dear Laura,

School sucks. I know. I really don’t care for it much as an adult, either. But I do value learning and can attest that you are capable of a 4.0GPA. Seriously. Take my word on it. Value your learning. And learn things that aren’t offered to you. Computers and technology? They’re going to be huge. Even if you’re really not that interested, learn some basics. Also, follow your passions. All of those journals that you keep? All of the poems that you write and never share? The letters you write out to whoever could possibly find it but never actually send? That skill. That passion. It means something to you. Fuel this.

Your love. Your first real love. If you haven’t met him yet you will, and you’ll know it as soon as the two of you have your first kiss. Don’t be afraid to love him with all your heart. You’re emotionally closed off, and keep your heart behind a very thick wall. First loves, as a norm, aren’t forever. Even still. You need to be open with him and tell him everything. Don’t keep him in the dark, because chances are he’s just as chicken shit with his emotions as you are. Even if it’s ending, you need to make sure he knows how you feel. If you don’t tell him, you’ll always wished you had. Also? Hold guys to very high standards. You, my dear, are a prize. You’re a gold mine. Value yourself as such and make sure you are treated as though you are worth more than this. So, as fun as it sounds, going to a kegger on your first date and making out in the truck is super uncool. Set the bar high.

If(when) this oh-so-powerfully strong first, blinding, and fierce love of your life doesn’t work out, whatever you do DO NOT try out internet dating. In the end, it’s going to be a world shattering disaster that will scar you for the rest of your life. The aftermath will remain a nightmare you’ll bury, but never quite be able to shake. Besides, finding the love of your life is an adventure that’s not locked behind a computer screen. I mean this literally. It will be one of the most powerful moments of your life. Not just the meeting him part, but the events that get you there. In saying that, there is going to come a time where you will break free from your cage and fly. I wish I could tell you how to do this smarter, safer. However, the nature of your journey is a good portion of what made you into me. So, all I can say is follow your heart. Trust your instincts. They very rarely fail you.

Don’t let forever friends slip away. You know which one. You guys pretty much grew up together. If there is ever a regret you’ll ever have in your life it’ll be losing her. There are times when you really just need to shut your damn mouth and be a friend. Remember that.

Makeup is lame. Just knock it off. Drink lots of water. Get plenty of sleep (and yes even an as adult you’ll still be a raging bitch if you don’t get at least a full 7 – 8 hours). One application of mascara to your lashes and some lightly tinted lip gloss is all you need. OH!! And moisturize. I KNOW your skin is oily. It always will be. Moisturize. And wear sunscreen daily.

Run a mile every day. I know you hate it, but please do me this favor and start this habit now. I promise we’ll be thankful you did. The biggest solver to your problems is just finding a super tight and awesomely supportive bra. They exist. And shoes.

Don’t let anyone talk you out of your dreams.

Lastly? You can love her, unconditionally as a child should, but your hopes that things will improve will never come true. You will grow. You’ll move on. Your physical pain will end. But someday you’ll become a mother, and you’ll look back on the damages, see them for what they are and your heart will completely shatter from it. You’ll be filled with pure hatred for her. The sooner you start waking up and accepting who and what she is now, the better off we will be later. Not just for me, but for my children.

Remember. Value yourself always. ALWAYS.

Love,
You, in about 18 years.

 

 

I really enjoyed writing this post and sharing it with you. It brought tears to my eyes to write it, but felt so good to click the publish button. I encourage you to do the same, and link up with me here. I’d love to see what everyone would say to their younger selves.