the journey to my husband

“If the Corps wanted you to have a wife, you’d be issued one!!”

Sometimes it really feels that way. It’s not easy, always, being married in the Corps.
It’s no secret there’s a high divorce rate in the military.
And, like in any marriage, staying strong, close, faithful, and having the ability to evolve together takes love and work on a constant basis.
Marriage is every single day. It’s life. It’s work. And it’s definitely not easy.
But.
It’s worth it. And the work, and love, and the constant that’s involved makes it the beauty that it is.

I love looking back at all the good, bad, rough, and smooth sailing times we’ve had. We’ve come a long way.

As tomorrow is our anniversary, I look back and think about my personal journey that brought me to my husband. It was crazy, and at times down right scary. But, without it I wouldn’t be where I am now…

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In February, 2000 I showed up in North Carolina. Wasn’t in a good place in my Iowa life. Looking for a fresh start, to get out from under a few thumbs, and completely create and live my own life. I had $200 to my name in cash, got in my car with the things most important to me in the trunk of my car, and hit the road where I spent three days driving, stopping when I pleased, checking out the scenery of each state, and sleeping in rest stops.

In Raleigh/Durham I ran out of money. Found myself at a Scottish Inns, which if you’re not familiar is probably one of the crappiest motels you can possibly stay in, and asked to work in exchange for a place to live. I was given a room with no lock on the door, and all around me were contractors, most of which junkies with a twinkle in their eye for the new girl on the block. I got many offers to ‘party’. I slept with the room tv against the door, and a crowbar in my bed. Luckily I’m no marshmallow sissy fluff, and was very confident in my self defense and fighting skills. Though, the thought of actually having to put those skills to the test scared the shit out of me.

There were two other girls there who also cleaned rooms and lived there. They were from the rougher side of the tracks, and everyone there seemed to know not to mess with them. Oh… because their uncle was also the local dealer. They immediately took me under their wing, and it was clear no one had better bother me. See how the relationships work? Daily I kept to myself, got my work done, and pretty much became a hermit crab in my room, only coming out to eat or do any extra work that was asked of me.

This place, though, was only a pause in where I was going. I minor set back, to which I adapted and overcame. Every day there sucked, but I dealt with it and sucked it up because I knew I didn’t stop there. I had a plan. It might not have been a great one, but it was a plan and any plan or goal was better than nothing.

I had a friend I’d known all through high school. He became a Marine and was stationed at Camp Lejeune. I wasn’t depending on him for help, but at least I’d know someone in a new area, and possibly get a little help finding a job or locating a place to stay. Truth be known, I had no idea how he could help me, I just wanted a friendly face. But, he wasn’t there. He was training at 29 Palms. I had no idea how long he’d be there. So, I’d wait. I’d do the daily grind of my work, and hermit into my room. I wrote him a letter to let him know where I was, and waiting until I received word…

Which came at perfect timing.
There was a particular contractor who was staying at the motel that constantly asked if I’d like to party. GAK! No thanks. Which I politely said every time. Obviously he didn’t like my rebuffs. I’m not going to give you the details of the condition his bathroom was in, but lets say it wasn’t pretty and he blamed me for doing it while he was working and leaving it for him. (seriously nasty beyond nasty with a side dose and extra slice of nasty) It got me fired.

My friend showed up that day.

He knew a guy that he was at training with. Living in a house out in town, and they had an extra bedroom I could rent.

When I got there, this skinny guy answered the door in his boxers….

Three months later  we were married in the Onslow Country Court House. Our celebration dinner was at the local Chinese buffet.

This was 13 years ago… (tomorrow). We knew each other only three months. Over the past 13 years we have continued to get to know each other, fall in love with each other time and time again, evolve together, and create a beautiful family together. The journey to my husband was… well pretty damned insane. But I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat for him and our amazing life together.