bad nights make for rough mornings. Smile.

Last night sucked. It was the worst night I’ve had in a long time.

I was talking with a girlfriend of mine, and my lower back was in some major pain. Muscles. Hips. Spine. It all hurt. I felt like everything was about to implode at any moment. By the time I got off the phone, I was in so much pain I could hardly move. It was difficult to walk. Then I noticed my arms, shoulders, fingers all started feeling the same way. Pain radiating through me, and deep as though it were in my bones. It was awful.

So I went to bed with a heating pad, hoping that would help relax my body and maybe by the morning I’d feel better. As I lay there feeling the pad warm up, the rest of me felt like I was freezing. The warmer my heating pad got, the colder it felt like my body was. Soon I was shivering, my whole body shaking. But, I eventually got to sleep.

3am hit me like a freight train. I was sweating like crazy, feeling like I was suffocating under my comforter, but freezing. This time the shivering was so bad that my teeth were chattering hard against each other. I could barely form a sentence because of how badly I was shaking. Pain still exploding through my entire body, and my head feeling like it might literally split open three ways.

I didn’t get much sleep. My husband wanted to take me to the ER, but I refused. Who would watch the kids? What if I had to be admitted and he didn’t make it to work?

When I woke up this morning, I swallowed a couple of Advil migraine pills with my morning coffee. Once it finally kicked in, it was enough to let me be functional so I could at least put my sons lunch together, get the kids dressed, and get my boy to school.

You know what’s funny? It always seems that it’s these mornings, when I’m literally running on empty and know my patience is about as fragile as spider web silk, that the kids, or rather the girls, want to wake up cranky. Once I got them fed, they were all pretty happy and easy to get ready, so I was thankful for that. Then we get to the school, get the girls out of the car, hand my son his lunchbox, and everyone takes off in three different directions. WTH?! They never run off like this, WHY WHY WHY are they doing it today?? So I take a deep breath and try to maintain my composure. Herd the cats, and move on.

After giving my son kisses and hugs goodbye, and watching him walk off to join his class, I turned around with the girls and walked back to the car. Another mom smiled at me. Despite my exhaustion and edginess, it made me feel better.

As I got the girls buckled back into their car seats and we headed back home, I wondered to myself, ‘what did I look like to everyone else? frazzled? tired? bitchy?’
Moms have bad nights, which make for rough mornings.
Meaning, you never know what’s going on behind the scenes in someones life.
This is why it’s important to offer a warm smile to those who cross your path. It’s the smallest gesture, but always has a great impact. Smiles are also, usually, contagious.
Thank you to the mom who smiled at me this morning. You really made me feel less frazzled. Your warm smile warmed me up, brought back some of my patience, and reminded me to take a deep breath and appreciate the small things.

Smile. Someone might really need one today.